8.07.2006

WRATHKETEER SPOTLIGHT ON----MY MOM!

Friday, March 03, 2006
Current mood: IN AWE



FOA-MINION GREETINGS WRATHKETEERS!
TODAY I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY MOM. GREAT GAL, SHE MADE ME AFTER ALL.
WELL LET'S SEE, SHE'S BLONDE, 5'2" AND HER DEMEANOUR IS THAT OF A PIT BULL NINJA PIRATE & JOHN WAYNE BRAND TOILET PAPER...YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SHE'LL STRIKE SHE IS ROUGH AS HELL AND DON'T TAKE SHIT OFF OF ANYONE. SHE LIKES NEIL DIAMOND, IS REALLY A SILLY BLONDE AND IS FROM GERMANY. DID I MENTION SHE'S A BLONDE...YOU KNOW BLLLLLLOOOOOOOONNNNNNNDDDDE.
I LIKE MY MOM- SHE'S KINDA KEWL. IF I WAS NOT RELATED TO HER- I WOULD HANG OUT WITH HER...I WOULD NEVER LET HER WRITE OR PROOFREAD FOR ME. HER WRITING SKILLS ARE HORRIFYINGLY BAD, AS IS HER GRAMMAR, SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION.
GRANTED, ENGLISH IS NOT HER NATIVE TONGUE- BUT SHE CAME HERE WHEN SHE WAS 9. I THINK THAT IS PLENTY OF TIME TO GET RIGHT WITH MR. SENTENCE STRUCTURE AND MRS. SPELLING.
RECENTLY, A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY DIED- MY MOM (BLESS HER) TOOK UP HER KEYBOARD AND WROTE THE FAMILY A SYMPHONY NOTE(YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT.) EVERY LAST SENTENCE IS SEARED INTO MY BRAIN WITH SOME OF THE SCARIEST GRAMMAR I HAVE EVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF THE THIRD GRADE. MY MOM WRITES LIKE AN ESL STUDENT. ("IN AMERICA, THE STREETS ARE BEING PAV-ED WITH GOLDEN. I AM LIKING THAT VERY MUCH") YOU SEE FELLOW FOAMINIONS MOM HAS MASTERED MS WORD, BUT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THAT IF IT IS SPELLED CORRECTLY IT WILL STILL BE GRAMMATICALLY WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! AND NONSENSICAL- HENCE THE NEED FOR PROOFREADING BY ANOTHER PERSON AND NOT THAT F*CKING PAPERCLIP THINGY...
...(SHUDDER) WHICH SHE DID- AND NOT BY ME. WHAT I REPEATEDLY FORGET TO REALISE IS THAT HER CADRE OF COHORTS ARE SIMILARLY GRAMMATICALLY INEPT ESL STUDENT-LIKE WRITERS OR EPILEPTIC MONKEYS. I BELIEVE THEIR REMARKS ON HER "PROSE" WERE- DUDE, THAT'S AWESOME- YOU SHOULD SEND THAT...SO SHE DID, ALL 6 SENTENCES. YES WRATHKETEERS- IF I'M LYING, I'M DYING.
WELL, SHE DID SPELL HER NAME RIGHT- SO WE GOT THAT GOING FOR US. YOU GET 200 POINTS ON THE SAT IF YOU DO THAT. I JUST WON'T LET HER NEAR A COMMUNICATIONS INPUT MEDIUM ANYTIME SOON- I PROMISE.

SW

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