8.07.2006

PEOPLE WHO NEED A VIOLENT BEATING- VOL 1

Friday, March 17, 2006
Current mood: BALLED UP FIST OF RAGE



ERIN GO WRATHFUL FOAMINIONS!
AS A PUBLIC SERVICE, THE WRATHKETEER SECT OF THE ALMIGHTY CHURCH OF FOAMY WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE A NEW EPISODIC FEATURE TO THE BLOG CALLED "PEOPLE WHO NEED A VIOLENT BEATING"
TODAY'S PROSPECT: PEOPLE WHO BUY FUR COATS FOR DOGS.
I WAS WATCHING THE TODAY SHOW A FEW DAYS AGO AT MY MOM'S AND I SAW THAT CINDY ADAMS THE GOSSIP COLUMNIST AND HER CUTE LITTLE YORKIES. THEY SEEM LIKE HAPPY, PAMPERED PUPS...AS A DOG OWNER I'M DOWN WITH THAT. MACK, MY RESCUED 87 LB AMERICAN BULLDOG IS A LITTLE SPOILED...BUT HE'S WELL BEHAVED AND NEVER SHITS IN THE HOUSE. HE'S GOT SO MANY SQUEAKY PLUSH TOYS THAT HE HAS A TOX BOX TO KEEP THEM IN, A FEW BANDANNAS, A SWEET STUDDED COLLAR THAT MATCHES MY BIKE JACKET, BOOTS AND PURSE...AND A NICE BLUE SWEATER. I DON'T DRESS UP MACK LIKE SOME DRAG QUEEN, AND I DON'T LOOK DOWN ON ANYONE WHO DOES. THESE FOLKS ARE USUALLY REALLY GOOD OWNERS AND ARE KIND TO ANIMALS....
....BUT THERE ARE LIMITS. WHEN YOUR DOGS COLLAR COSTS MORE THAN THE YEARLY OPERATING BUDGET OF A NO-KILL SHELTER OR THE GNP OF ITSFUCKINHOT-ISTAN, YOU NEED TO EXAMINE YOUR PRIORITIES.
BUT I DIGRESS...BACK TO THE CINDY ADAMS...HER DOGS HAVE BETTER CLOTHING AND JEWELRY WARDROBES THAN ANY NY SOCIALITE- AND COST JUST AS MUCH. HOWEVER THAT ISN'T WHAT DROVE ME FROM MY MOM'S IN A FIT OF APOPLECTIC RAGE- GET THIS: HER DOGS HAVE FUR COATS, MINK BY THE LOOKS OF IT.
LET'S GIVE THAT A SECOND TO SINK IN..............HER DOGS WEAR FUR COATS.....
.......ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? I'M NO VETERINARIAN, ZOOLOGIST OR FARMER, BUT DON'T DOGS GROW THEIR OWN FUR...IN COAT FORM? WHAT WAS THE PROGRESSION OF THOUGHT THAT CULMINATED IN "I THINK THE DOGS NEED CUSTOM MADE FUR COATS" OR "HEY I'VE GOT A COUPLE GRAND LOOKING FOR A HOME, SHOULD I DONATE IT TO THE ASPCA SO SOME CAT OR DOG DOESN'T GET EUTHANISED....NAH - LET'S GET MATCHING MINKS FOR THE DOGS."
HERE'S TO YOU MS. ADAMS...THE FIRST INDUCTEE TO "PEOPLE WHO NEED A VIOLENT BEATING" SOCIETY! I HOPE YOU GET THE ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER.

SW
BTW: MILLIONS OF NICE CATS & DOGS ARE FACING EUTHANASIA RIGHT NOW & NEED GOOD HOMES LIKE YOURS...ADOPT A FURRY FRIEND TODAY!!!!!

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