Friday, April 14, 2006

THIS IS CNN- IN NEED OF VIOLENT BEATING: VOL 2
Current mood: SHAKING HEAD IN DISBELIEF


NEWSWORTHY GREETINGS WRATHKETEERIANS!
AT MY JOB, WE HAVE TELEVISIONS TUNED TO THE ILLUSTRIOUS CNN...24 HRS A DAY...7 F*CKING DAYS A WEEK. I DO MY BEST TO DROWN IT OUT, REALLY I DO. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT LARRY KING THAT BURNS MY ASS. MAYBE ITS THE NASALLY-GRAVELY TIMBRE OF HIS VOICE, OR THE FREAKISHLY YOUNG AND ATTRACTIVE WIFE & MOTHER OF HIS TWO YOUNG BOYS...THE WIFE IS YOUNGER THAN HIS FIRST SET OF KIDS- OR THE FACT HE IS A TOOL OF THE DEVIL. I DON'T KNOW.
THERE IS ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE: CNN HAS GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST NEWS AGENCY EVER. I HAVE HEARD SOME OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS THIS SIDE OF A 13 YR OLD GIRLS SLUMBER PARTY ON CNN. FOR EXAMPLE: HURRICANE KATRINA, ANDERSON COOPER ACTUALLY ANSWERED THIS "QUESTION" WITH A STRAIGHT FACE: IF THE LIGHTS GO OUT, WILL IT BE DARK? HIS RESPONSE WAS: YES, VERY DARK. UM, OKAY- BUT THERE IS MORE!!!
ANOTHER FINE EXAMPLE OF THE SCINTILLATING WEATHER COMMENTARY, DURING HURRICANE RITA: IT'S REALLY RAINING, I AM GETTING VERY WET, AND THE WIND IS STRONG....NO SHIT, REALLY?
THE LAST STRAW WAS PERPETRATED BY LOU DOBBS- A NEWSMAN OF GREAT EXPERIENCE- THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT CNN A STEP ABOVE JR HIGHLIGHTS IN CONTENT- HE ADDRESSED THE *NEW* PHENOMENAE OF CHAOS IN IRAQ...I SHIT YOU NOT.
THIS JUST IN: FIRE IS HOT, WATER IS WET...AND WE HAVE BEEN IN IRAQ FOR QUITE SOME TIME DOBBSIE.
SO HERE'S TO YOU CNN: THE SHORT BUS RIDING, WINDOWLICKING, HELMET WEARING SPECIAL ED CLASS OF JOURNALISM!

SW