Current mood: MMMMM...PIE
GOBBLE GOBBLE WRATHKETEERS! i BRING GREETINGS OF TURKEY & PIE TO ALL!!
THIS WEEKS NEWS HAS BEEN PUNCTUATED WITH MEN BEHAVING BADLY...BY MEN I MEAN O.J. SIMPSON & MICHAEL RICHARDS.
THE STINKY FIST OF JOURNALISM GAVE US A DOUBLE DONKEY PUNCH OF BAD TASTE AND RACISM- MORTON DOWNEY JR. WOULD BE PROUD.
LETS START WITH THE LESSER OF 2 EVILS- MICHAEL RICHARDS WENT COMPLETELY BATSHIT ON STAGE WHEN A YOUNG BLACK MAN HECKLED HIM. AS A COMEDIAN AND AN ACTOR I IMAGINE HE HAS SOME EXPERIENCE WITH ROUGH CROWDS, IMPROVISATION & INSULTS. INSTEAD OF CALLING THE YOUNG MAN OUT ON HIS NAME & EVERYTHING BUT A CHILD OF GOD...HE CHOSE THE N WORD. NOT ONCE, BUT REPEATEDLY.
WHAT AN ASSHOLE. BUT IT GETS WORSE...THE VENERABLE GLORIA ALLRED- NOT ONE TO PASS UP A PHOTO-OP RAN TO THE YOUNG MANS RESCUE AND IS NOW SUING RICHARDS BECAUSE HE MADE HER CLIENT FEAR FOR HIS SAFETY. I FIND THAT HARD TO SWALLOW...SINCE HER CLIENT IS A RATHER STRAPPING YOUNG MAN WHO COULD SNAP THE ICHABOD CREANE PHYSIQUE THAT RICHARDS SPORTS LIKE A CANDY CANE. I HOPE HER CLIENT REALIZES HE JUST MADE HIM LOOK AS WUSSY, AS RICHARDS LOOKS RACIST. LET ME KNOW HOW THAT WORKS FOR YOU PAL.
I MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS, WHERE THE WRONG-DOER WOULD GO AND APOLOGIZE TO THE WRONGED...WHO WOULD POP HIM IN THE NOSE OR GUT- THEN THEY GO OUT FOR A BEER, AS IF THEY WERE OLD COLLEGE BUDS. ALL IS FORGIVEN, AND A NEW FRIENDSHIP IS MADE. I CALL THAT "MAN JUSTICE."
WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE GREATER EVIL- AQUITTED WIFE BEATING MURDERER O.J. SIMPSON...AND HIS NEW BOOK "IF I DID IT- THIS IS HOW I WOULD GO ABOUT IT"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NO REALLY- HAVE YOU LOST YOUR PSYCO KILLER MIND? JOHNNY COCHRANE IS TURNING OVER IN HIS GRAVE!
DUDE- YOU WERE AQUITTED, AND JEOPARDY IS ATTACHED- JUST ADMIT IT, OK? DON'T TRAUMATIZE YOUR CHILDREN (WHO NO DOUBT MISS THEIR MOM- THAT YOU BEHEADED) AND THE GOLDMAN FAMILY (YOU WANT TO SEE YOU BURNED ALIVE.) HAVEN'T THEY SUFFERED ENOUGH? CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY...YOU GOT AWAY WITH MURDER...DON'T GET GREEDY AND TRY TO CASH IN YOU SELFISH BASTARD.
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, ASSHOLE. "WAAAH, I NEEDED THE MONEY" ONLY WORKS FOR STRIPPERS IN COLLEGE & TEENAGERS BOOSTING CAR RADIOS- NOT MILLION DOLLAR BOOK DEALS AND A SHILL INTERVIEW.
AT LEAST FOX BROADCASTING SAW THE LIGHT AND CANCELLED- EVEN THEIR OWN FOX NEWS NETWORK BOYCOTTED IT, AT RISK TO THEIR OWN CAREERS. AT LEAST THEIR IS SOME DIGNITY LEFT IN JOURNALISM.
AT THIS POINT THE PORN BUSINESS IS LOOKS MORE & MORE WHOLESOME, DOESN'T IT?
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!
O ESQUILO
11.23.2006
11.20.2006
THE TAO OF SKWERL- PT I
Current mood: ENLIGHTENED, WITH A TOUCH OF WRATH.
EVERYDAY YOU WAKE UP ON THIS SIDE OF THE DIRT IS A GOOD DAY.
MAN WHO HAS FOOT IN MOUTH, HAS BREATH THAT SMELLS OF CORNCHIPS.
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS IS OK, FALLING ON THEM...NOT SO GREAT.
YOUR BLIND DATE IS ONLY AS BAD AS THE WINDOW IN THE LAVATORY IS SMALL.
THE BIGGER THE SEX TALK, THE SMALLER THE ACTION.
THE ANSWER TO ANGER IS BUNNIES.
JOB GOT YOU DOWN? A SCHMEAR OF CRISCO ON THE DOOR HANDLE AT WORK MAKES FOR HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT.
NEVER STARE INTO A *SOLAR* ECLIPSE, HOWEVER, THE LUNAR KIND- GO NUTS.
CRAPPY JOB? IT'S THE TINFOIL HAT FACTION THAT MAKES UP FOR THE LACK OF PAY, BENEFITS & VACATION DAYS.
IT'S ONLY AS FUNNY AS IT IS PAINFUL TO THE OTHER GUY.
DOMO ARIGATO,
SKWERL-SAN
EVERYDAY YOU WAKE UP ON THIS SIDE OF THE DIRT IS A GOOD DAY.
MAN WHO HAS FOOT IN MOUTH, HAS BREATH THAT SMELLS OF CORNCHIPS.
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS IS OK, FALLING ON THEM...NOT SO GREAT.
YOUR BLIND DATE IS ONLY AS BAD AS THE WINDOW IN THE LAVATORY IS SMALL.
THE BIGGER THE SEX TALK, THE SMALLER THE ACTION.
THE ANSWER TO ANGER IS BUNNIES.
JOB GOT YOU DOWN? A SCHMEAR OF CRISCO ON THE DOOR HANDLE AT WORK MAKES FOR HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT.
NEVER STARE INTO A *SOLAR* ECLIPSE, HOWEVER, THE LUNAR KIND- GO NUTS.
CRAPPY JOB? IT'S THE TINFOIL HAT FACTION THAT MAKES UP FOR THE LACK OF PAY, BENEFITS & VACATION DAYS.
IT'S ONLY AS FUNNY AS IT IS PAINFUL TO THE OTHER GUY.
DOMO ARIGATO,
SKWERL-SAN
11.13.2006
GIRL SCOUT COOKIE DAY, FUCKERS
Current mood: !!11ELEVENTYONE!!!!!!111
IT'S NOVEMBER WRATHKETEERS- DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
OMG!!!PON1ES11!!!
ITS MOTHERFUCKING GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME!!!
I GOT ME MY THIN MINTS, SAMOA'S (NOW KNOWN AS CARAMEL DELITES) SOME THANKS-A-LOTS. I AM DOING A HAPPY DANCE IN MY CUBE WITH A SAMOA IN MY MOUTH AS WE SPEAK.
LIKE THE MIGHTY & MAJESTIC SQUIRREL...I WILL STORE THE PRECIOUS BOOTY AT HOME, AND FREEZE THEM- SO THAT I MAY PORTION THEM OUT UNTIL THE NEXT COOKIE DAY.
OMG!!!PON1ES11!!! INDEED.
LA SCIATOLLO
IT'S NOVEMBER WRATHKETEERS- DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
OMG!!!PON1ES11!!!
ITS MOTHERFUCKING GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME!!!
I GOT ME MY THIN MINTS, SAMOA'S (NOW KNOWN AS CARAMEL DELITES) SOME THANKS-A-LOTS. I AM DOING A HAPPY DANCE IN MY CUBE WITH A SAMOA IN MY MOUTH AS WE SPEAK.
LIKE THE MIGHTY & MAJESTIC SQUIRREL...I WILL STORE THE PRECIOUS BOOTY AT HOME, AND FREEZE THEM- SO THAT I MAY PORTION THEM OUT UNTIL THE NEXT COOKIE DAY.
OMG!!!PON1ES11!!! INDEED.
LA SCIATOLLO
11.07.2006
GET OUT AND VOTE FUCKERS!
Current mood: FUCKING A RIGHT!
IT'S ELECTION DAY WRATHKETEERS!
SO SHUT YOU'RE NOISEHOLES AND VOTE!
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO TO VOTE FOR...VOTE OUT THE INCUMBENTS.
WE CAN'T LET POLITICIANS GET TOO COZY!
COZINESS=APATHY
APATHY=CORRUPTION
CORRUTION=NEW JERSEY
LOOK AT MY HOME STATE OF JERSEY: IT'S A FUCKING MESS
TAKE IT FROM THE SKWERL- DON'T BE LIKE NEW JERSEY- SPREAD THE PLAGUE & FUCKING VOTE!
I AM THE SKWERL AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
(PAID FOR BY THE ALMIGHTY CHURCH OF FOAMY- WRATHKETEERIAN SYNOD.)
IT'S ELECTION DAY WRATHKETEERS!
SO SHUT YOU'RE NOISEHOLES AND VOTE!
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO TO VOTE FOR...VOTE OUT THE INCUMBENTS.
WE CAN'T LET POLITICIANS GET TOO COZY!
COZINESS=APATHY
APATHY=CORRUPTION
CORRUTION=NEW JERSEY
LOOK AT MY HOME STATE OF JERSEY: IT'S A FUCKING MESS
TAKE IT FROM THE SKWERL- DON'T BE LIKE NEW JERSEY- SPREAD THE PLAGUE & FUCKING VOTE!
I AM THE SKWERL AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE
(PAID FOR BY THE ALMIGHTY CHURCH OF FOAMY- WRATHKETEERIAN SYNOD.)
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