Tuesday, July 04, 2006

CELLPHONES AND THEIR RETARTED OWNERS


SO, I'M AT MY COUSIN'S FUNERAL. I'M CRYING, THE REST OF THE FAMILY IS CRYING- IT'S A SAD DAY. THEN WHAT BREAKS THE SNIFFLY SILENCE OF THE FUNERAL HOME- THE SOUND OF "MY HUMPS" ON SOMEONE'S CELL PHONE, IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED WITH CHINGY, AND THAT T-MOBILE DADA DEE DA- THEN THE SOUND OF TEXT MESSAGING GOING ON- IN THE FUNERAL PARLOURS VISITATION ROOM!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE TO PLACE AND RECEIVE CALLS: HERE IS A SHORT LIST OF BAD PLACES/TIMES.

1. A FUCKING FUNERAL FOR ONE!
2. A CHURCH, SYNAGOGUE, MOSQUE OR SIMILAR HOUSE OF WORSHIP
3. DURING CLASS
4. DURING EXAMS
5. IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE- UNLESS TEH CELL IS WEDGED UP YOUR ASS
6. WHEN WAITING ON A CUSTOMER- DUDE, YOU'RE A FUCKING BARISTA- NOT DONALD TRUMP
7. WHILE GETTING WAITED ON- UNLESS THE PERSON ON THE OTHER END IS PLACING AN ORDER AS WELL...THEN MAKE IT SNAPPY.
8. FUCKING LIBRARIES PEOPLE!
9. WHEREVER INFANTS SLEEP, THE LITTLE BUGGERS MAKE A HELL OF A RACKET WHEN YOU WAKE THEM.
10. AT A WEDDING. MAN, IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE COJONES TO BUST IN THE DOOR AND MAKE A WILD ROMANTIC GESTURE- YOU DIDN'T REALLY WANT HER ANYWAY.

*STEPS OFF THE SOAPBOX*

GOOD DAY & HAPPY 4TH WRATHKETEERS
SKWERL