Monday, May 01, 2006

THINGS THAT ANNOY THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF ME: PART 2
Current mood: IRRITABLE


FOAMINIAN GREETINGS, ALL

HERE'S PART 2 OF MY ONGOING SERIES ABOUT THINGS THAT ANNOY THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF ME...

1. THE AIR QUALITY AT WORK: A MULTI-BILLION TELCO CAN'T AFFORD A SWIFFER DUSTER AND NEW AIR CONDITIONER FILTERS?

2. MY DOG'S DROOLING PROBLEM: MACK, PLEASE STOP WIPING YOUR FACE ON ME

3. PEOPLE WHO WEAR FRONTS: THE 10 LBS OF BLING AROUND YOUR NECK & FINGERS WASN'T ENOUGH- YOU LOOK LIKE THE UNHOLY SPAWN OF A JAMES BOND VILLIAN & MR. T

4. BARISTAS: YOU'RE PRETTY FUCKING UPPITY FOR MINIMUM WAGE EARNING COFFEE POURERS- NOW POUR ME A VENTE JACKASS

5. "THE BOY": IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO YOUR FRIEND NEXT DOOR- USE THE FUCKING TELEPHONE- STOP YELLING ACROSS MY YARD WHILE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, AND WHILE YOUR AT IT- PUT YOUR BIKE AWAY

6. CHEAP TOILET PAPER: IT SHOULDN'T DISINTEGRATE BEFORE YOU USE IT

7. DOOR TO DOOR MISSIONARIES: MY DOG CAN AND WILL EAT YOU

8. LARRY KING: ENOUGH WITH THE GAY-ASS TIES & THE TECHNICOLOUR DRESS SHIRTS- YOUR MAKING THE SCREEN ALL WAVY & GIVING ME A MIGRAINE

9. MIGRAINES: THEY FUCKING HURT & MAKE ME VOMIT...ALOT

10. THE "BITCH & MOAN" NETWORKS: I.E. LIFETIME (TELEVISION FOR IDIOTS) OXYGEN (HERALDING THE NEW WORLD OPRAH) & WE (WHERE MERIDITH BAXTER-BIRNEY'S MADE FOR TV CAREER IS ALIVE & WELL)

THATS THE LIST FOR TODAY...NOW, GO AWAY

SW