8.07.2006

LET ME BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR 55 BUCKS.COM

april 15, 2006
Current mood: THE WHEELS OF INNOVATION ARE TURNING!

FISCAL GREETINGS WRATHKETEERS!
IT'S TAX TIME AGAIN, AND ONCE MORE I AM CONFRONTED WITH THE DISMAL FISCAL OUTLOOK THAT WAS 2005. MY NO-FAIL "WIN THE LOTTO TO PAY MY STUDENT LOAN PLAN" WAS A FAILURE. SO NOW I AM FORCED TO ENGINEER NEW WAYS OF GETTING MY HANDS ON SOME DEAD PRESIDENTS.
THEN LAST NIGHT IT CAME TO ME...PARENTS DON'T WANT TO DISCIPLINE THEIR UNRULY SPAWN, BECAUSE THEY FEAR THE CHILD WILL HATE THEM AND PUT THEM IN ONE OF THOSE REST HOMES SHOWN ON DATELINE NBC, WHEN THE TIME COMES. THAT'S A REASONABLE FEAR- THAT'S HOW I KEPT MY MOM IN LINE.
ANYWHOO- THIS IS MY PLAN TO ATTAIN FINANCIAL FREEDOM: PARENTS PAY ME TO BEAT THEIR KIDS- $55 BUCKS AN HOUR. I FIGURED SCHFIFTY-FIVE WAS A COOL NUMBER AND AN HOUR SEEMED PLENTY OF TIME FOR A DECENT ASS-WHOOPIN'.
NOW PARENTS CAN RELAX IN REGARDS TO THEIR RETIREMENT PLANS, AND STILL RAISE FUNCTIONAL, PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF SOCIETY- WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS DIRTY.
GOT A PROBLEM CHILD- NO PROBLEM...LET ME BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR 55 BUCKS...PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
SPARE THE ROD, RUIN MY RETIREMENT!

SW

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