CRAPPY HANNUKAH, DAY 5
TONIGHT YOU GET TO CHOOSE YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT WITH A WEIRD (and very expensive) MENORAH! EACH ONE NOT ONLY HOLDS CANDLES- EACH ONE HOLDS MUCH SYMBOLISM...NOT JUST REPRESENTATIONAL OF THE GREAT MIRACLE EITHER.
IF YOU'RE TERRIFIED OF CLOWNS, THIS WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS, IT'S CALLED CAN'T SLEEP- CLOWNS WILL EAT ME. .
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THIS ONE SAYS: WHY CAN'T YOU BE A DOCTOR/LAWYER/DENTIST/TEACHER LIKE YOUR COUSIN RACHAEL? I CALL IT EIGHT NIGHTS OF INADEQUACY..
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THIS ONE IS POPULAR WITH MOTHERS FAR & WIDE: WHEN AM I GOING TO GET GRANDKIDS? ..
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WOW...THAT'S A BLUE...MOOSE...MENORAH? DON'T STARE INTO ITS EYES, IT WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL..
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...THIS IS THE PENULTIMATE GIFT FOR THE SINGLE GAL, I CALL IT THE MEN-NIGHTMARE. IF YOU LISTEN REEEEALY CLOSE YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR THE HOLIDAYS: "SO, ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? MY NEIGHBOR STELLA'S SISTER'S HUSBANDS NEPHEW'S DENTIST IS SINGLE, MAYBE I COULD INTRODUCE? UUGH, YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING! YOU'RE GONNA DIE AN OLD MAID...AND I'M NEVAH GONNA HAVE GRANDCHILDREN. YOU'RE KILLING ME, YOU KNOW. I HAVE TO SIT DOWN, I'M GETTING THE ANGINA. SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME? WHERE DID I GO WRONG..."
...THIS IS THE PENULTIMATE GIFT FOR THE SINGLE GAL, I CALL IT THE MEN-NIGHTMARE. IF YOU LISTEN REEEEALY CLOSE YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR THE HOLIDAYS: "SO, ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? MY NEIGHBOR STELLA'S SISTER'S HUSBANDS NEPHEW'S DENTIST IS SINGLE, MAYBE I COULD INTRODUCE? UUGH, YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING! YOU'RE GONNA DIE AN OLD MAID...AND I'M NEVAH GONNA HAVE GRANDCHILDREN. YOU'RE KILLING ME, YOU KNOW. I HAVE TO SIT DOWN, I'M GETTING THE ANGINA. SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME? WHERE DID I GO WRONG..." .
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I'M GOING TO, UM- GO DO...STUFF...SOMEWHERE...ELSE
SKWERL
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