MAN + GUITAR = THERE'S GONNA BE TEARS

Current mood: SERIOUSLY, MAN- GET A JOB

I BEAR WRATHY SALUTATIONS, WRATHKETEERS.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH MUSICIANS!!! (EXCEPT BASS & LUTE PLAYERS, YOU GUYS ARE OK IN MY BOOK.) AS FOR THE REST OF YOU- GO TO HELL.
I CAN REMEMBER THE 1ST MUSICIAN TO BREAK MY HEART...WE WERE IN MARCHING BAND- HE PLAYED TRUMPET. THEN THERE WERE SOME DRUMMERS, SINGERS, GUITARISTS- BASTARDS!!!!! I CURSE YOU AND YOUR GYRATING HIPS, YOUR SIREN CALL,YOUR PRIMAL RHYTHMS STIRRING WITHING MY VERY CORE. (WHOA, GOTTA STOP RIGHT THERE)
I STOPPED GOING TO SHOWS, GUITAR CENTRE, FREEHOLD MUSIC & SAM ASH BECAUSE OF YOU...YOU GUYS COME AFTER ME LIKE I WAS A RECORD EXECUTIVE WITH A GENEROUS CONTRACT. (HEY, YOU'RE CUTE- WANNA HANG OUT? BE MY MUSE? COULD YOU PROOFREAD MY WRITING, LOAN ME MONEY?)
GOD FORBID I SHOW INTEREST IN RETURN- THE ERRONEOUS PERCEPTION THAT I AM A DOORMAT OR ATM WILL BE THE LAST MISTAKE YOU MAKE WITH ME.
WHAT THE FUCK?
YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND- GREAT! WE ALL NEED FRIENDS.
DON'T WANT TO BE A FRIEND? THEN SAY SO...THEN LOSE MY NUMBER- I SHAN'T SPEAK WITH YOU EVER AGAIN.
DO YOU WANT SOMETHING MORE? TELL ME...I'LL LISTEN.
IF I FEEL THE SAME, I WILL RECIPROCATE...AND TELL YOU SO.
NO GAMES, NO BULLSHIT...YOU LUCKY DOG!
I'M PRETTY LOW MAINTENANCE, I EXPECT THE SAME. (BY THE WAY: I'M NOT ZERO MAINTENANCE, I DO EXPECT TO SPEND TIME HAVING NON-NEKKID FUN. SEX GETS OLD AFTER A WHILE, YOU SHOULD HAVE THE ABILITY TO HAVE A CONVERSATION OR AT LEAST SOME KIND OF POST-COITAL ACTIVITY- NOT JUST ME COOKING. HOW ABOUT WE WATCH THE GAME AT THE BAR?)
MY DOG HAS TO LIKE YOU. HE IS A BETTER JUDGE OF CHARACTER THAN I. IF YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, HE WILL KNOW- THEN HE WILL PROBABLY ATTACK, AND I CANNOT BREAK HIS GRIP. GOOD LUCK!
IF YOU WANT TO BORROW MONEY OR MY CAR- FUCK YOURSELF DIAGONAL, BRAH...I AIN'T YOUR STEADY PAYCHECK WITH TITS.

DER SWERL